Why seasonal wardrobe changes can feel like a punch to the gut

You know that moment when you pull out last year’s summer clothes and realize they don’t fit like they used to—or at all? It can feel like this silent benchmark of how your body has changed.

For folks on the intuitive eating or anti-diet path, we often ditch the scale because we know how triggering and unhelpful it can be. But snug clothes? They speak loud. And not in a neutral tone.

If this is hitting home, please hear me when I say: gaining weight isn’t inherently bad. (Though I know our culture has worked very hard to convince us otherwise.)

Because if they can convince us weight gain is bad, they can keep selling us things to “fix” it—diets, cleanses, weight loss apps, expensive workout plans, you name it. And when we’re stuck in that spiral, we’re hungry, distracted, and way too tired to take down the patriarchy. Convenient, huh?

So if your shorts don’t fit and your brain goes straight to shame, that’s not a personal failing. That’s diet culture, patriarchy, and capitalism doing exactly what they were designed to do. Ugh.

And let’s not forget the visual shock factor

Even if your body hasn’t changed much, just seeing yourself in different styles—like shorts after a season of big cozy sweaters—can feel jarring. I always think about getting new shoes as a kid… remember how they looked huge when you first put them on? But after a few wears, your eyes adjusted.

Same deal here. Sometimes your brain just needs a minute to catch up.

A 6-Step Framework for Dealing When Clothes Don’t Fit

Here’s the exact process I walk clients through when the clothes-don’t-fit meltdown hits:

1. Scale the Distress

Check in: how intense is this feeling right now on a scale from 1–10?

One of my clients said trying on too-tight shorts felt like a 9/10. That’s useful info—it gives us a place to meet ourselves with care.

2. What’s the Story?

What are you telling yourself about what it means that your clothes don’t fit?

The client I mentioned earlier realized she was telling herself, “This means I’m a failure.”

Harsh, right? But also… very common.

3. Interrogate the Story

Would you say that to a friend?

Would you tell your best friend she’s a failure because last year’s shorts don’t fit?

My client said, “Of course not.”

So I asked, What WOULD you say to a friend?

Her words:

How your shorts fit is not an indicator of success. It’s just shorts. Things change. Bodies change. It’s not that deep.

Then we looked at how diet culture defines success vs. how she defines it:

Diet culture’s version of success:

Lean body, “clean” eating, daily workouts in cute matching sets, glowing skin, all the right wellness rituals, aestetic vibes.

Her version:

Being surrounded by people she loves, taking walks with her dogs, feeling comfy in her body, not obsessing about food, being present.

So I said: if that’s your version of success… why are you still judging yourself by theirs?

4. Create an Impactful Reframe

We’re not jumping to “I love my body no matter what!” if it doesn’t feel true. That’s too far a leap. The reframe needs to be something you can actually believe.

Here’s what my client came up with:

“I’m working on remembering that the way clothes fit me doesn’t define who I am or the love I get to experience.”

Yes. That’s a reframe that lands.

5. Use the AND Statement

This is about holding more than one truth at once.

“My shorts are tight and it makes me feel like a failure. AND I’m working on remembering that my clothing size doesn’t determine my worth.”

This is how we build new neural pathways—by meeting ourselves honestly but gently. No bypassing. No shame.

6. Leave Room for Grief

You can do all the mindset work and still feel bummed. That doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re human.

Body grief is a real part of this process. As my mentor Bri Campos says: The only way out is through.

When it feels heavy, come back to your why.

Why are you doing this work in the first place?

Is it to break the cycle of generational body hate in your family?

To stop spending 90% of your energy thinking about food and your body?

To opt out of the systems that want to keep you hungry and powerless?

Let that be your anchor.

💬 Gentle Reframes You Can Steal

Sometimes you need words that aren’t your own to help shift out of the spiral. Here are a few you can try on:

• “This outfit isn’t right for my current body, not the other way around.”
• “My body isn’t the problem—these clothes just aren’t designed for where I’m at right now.”
• “Bodies change. I can meet mine with compassion instead of punishment.”

Practical Stuff to Make It Suck Less

Emotions aside, here are some logistical things you can do to set yourself up for a smoother wardrobe transition:

• Don’t do this when you’re in a bad mood, tired, hungry, or on your period. Seriously, it makes a huge difference.
• Ground yourself first. Journaling, a deep breath, texting a friend—remind yourself that no matter how these clothes fit, you’re still you.
• Do your hair. Brush your teeth. Wear something cozy. Make yourself feel good going into the experience.
• Phone a friend. Have someone on standby or with you IRL. Bonus if you can find a way to laugh about it together.
• Buy (or thrift) just one thing that fits your right-now body. Even one pair of shorts or a flowy dress can change the vibe. Dacy Gillespie talks about this a lot—it doesn’t have to be a full new wardrobe. Start small.

Final Thoughts

This time of year can bring up a lot, and that doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. The shame spiral is so real—and so common. But you have tools. You have support. And you’re not alone.

Your body is not a before-and-after photo. It’s your earth suit—the thing that lets you experience love, connection, creativity, and joy.

You are worthy of clothes that fit the body you have today. And you’re allowed to feel what you feel.

Want To Go Deeper?

If this post hit home and you’re craving more tools to heal your relationship with food and body, I’d love to invite you into The Return—my self-paced online course designed to help you untangle from diet culture and finally feel at home in your body.

It’s packed with 70+ video modules, guided exercises, and supportive practices to walk you through this work step by step—no pressure to be perfect, no timeline to follow.

To celebrate you for taking the first step and reading this blog post, take $100 off with the code BLOG100

Because if you’re here, reading this, I already know you’re ready to come back to yourself.

🌀 Join The Return and start your healing journey today.

Click here to enroll and use code BLOG100 at checkout.